The Christmas Blues
by Klink1
Summary: To collect their bounty on this mysterious 'Kris Kringle' they must travel to the perpetually icy, snowing moon of Jupiter, Callisto! Will they find their bounty? Or will they find Christmas? Ed: "Ed is so hungry! Is Christmas edible?"
1. O Come, All Ye Faithful'

Prologue: 'Silent Night'

  
  


"The snow..." he sighs softly, his round shoulders rising and falling. Black eyes gaze skywards, and his hand idly strokes a soft sable head. "It always makes me feel nostalgic."

There's a snort and the head that rests beneath his mittened hand shifts and antlers gently prod his shoulders. He chuckles softly, tilting his head down, as his rosy cheeks grow rounder with the shift of his lips, and his eyes crinkle. But there's a sadness that continues to dwell in his coal eyes.

"It's alright, Comet. I'm alright. But you must be hungry," he turns to lift the bucket from the ground, and the reindeer shifts forward a step and begins to eat from the bucket. "That's right boy."

As the reindeer placidly eats away he turns his head skywards and his coal black eyes slowly stare upwards, Jupiter seems to be within reach, its large storm swirling amidst the drifting snow.

"It's just not the same anymore, Comet."

There's a soft snort of agreement.

  
  


Chapter 1 'O Come All Ye Faithful'

  
  


"Foodafoodafooda," comes a nasally whine, and Ed comes swimming through the hair, her red hair sticking up all over the place. Following at her heels is Ein, just floating placidly along, although his grey eyes stare imploringly at the greedy three beneath himself and Ed, poised around the view screen.

The three ignore the red-headed sprite idly floating above the air, all three of them poised, and listening to the tinny sound coming from the tv.

"Aloha amigos!" Comes the cheerful voice of Punch, and everyone moves a little closer.

"It's time for your favourite program, bounty hunters?" Comes Judy, appearing on screen next to her co-star, her voluptuous bosum displayed to its best advantage.

"BIG SHOT!" They chime in together. Faye nervously taps her foot, waiting for them to get to the point, muscles twitching ever so slightly with her graceful movements. Her fingers itch and the growling in her stomach abates only long enough for her to hear the show.

"Today we have a real doozy of a Bounty for you! Worth 20,000,000 wulongs!"

"REALLY?" Judy chimes excitedly, clasping her hands before her chest. "With that much money I could buy myself a really pretty horse!"

"You could buy yourself a stable with that much money." Punch offers in his ever cheerful voice. His ditzy co-star bounces on her feet, allowing all the world to watch, hypnotized, as her breasts bounced through her clothes.

"Who is it, Punch? Tell me!!!! I want to know! Oooooooo, I'm so excited!" she squeels delightedly, pausing long enough to clasp her hands at her waist, to squirm and twist her nubile body.

"It's this man, Judy. One Kris Kringle. He's wanted for Breaking and Entering.....numerous counts of it!" Their faces disappear as a vague picture of a red blur and white is placed on the screen. 'No previous picture' flashing along the bottom, and on the top is the amount of the bounty.

"OH NO! But so much for a petty thief?!?!" Judy gasps over the picture, and it withdraws to be placed at the bottom of the picture.

"He's broken into some very famous peoples houses, but apparently he hasn't taken anything. It's what he's LEFT behind that matters."

"A bomb?"

"Nope."

"Naked pictures of himself?"

"Nope."

"THEN WHAT, Punch? Tell me!!!!" Like an impatient child she implores her co-star, her hands clasping beneath her chin, her blond hair swinging and glowing like a golden sheet attached to her heat, twirling contently with curls.

"Now that's the thing. We aren't allowed to say! But it's gotten people pretty worked up!" He tips his hat up, and he glances at the camera somberly.

"Good luck amigos!"

"GO GET...." Judy's cheerful departure is halted as the screen flips off and the blurry picture of this 'Kris Kringle' is flipped up.

"20 million wulongs!" Faye breathes softly, and she drops back against the back of the chair, draping her arms along the back. On either side of her sit her 'partners', the ever 'cheerful' Jet Black, with his balding head and his hard body he was not a man she would want to be on the opposite end of a gun from. She was grateful that she'd chosen to take them on.

And on her other side the enigmatic Spike Spiegal, ditz and pain in her posterior. Although he had saved her life a few times, she was confident that had she been given enough time she could have handled herself. There was also something about him that.....well it took more than one encounter to fully understand him.

"Ed....see what you can find on this 'Kris Kringle' guy." Jet calls out to Ed, and he watches the shapeless child float over to her laptop. She lands nimbly upon it, and Ein joins her. She slips the goggles into place and her hands hover up at chest level.

"Kris Kringle. Kris Kringle. Let's-a-Mingle." She chimes in her light cheerful voice, the tone rather sing-songy and carefree.

"There's something about that name...." Spike muses in his deep voice, and a long-fingered hand lifts and he strokes his chin, staring off into space.

"What is it, Spike?" Jet turns to his spiky, green haired partner, a black eyebrow arching. His metallic hand hovers over the tv screen, fingers curled casually.

"Just thought that I'd heard it before." Is all that Spike can offer, as he sits back.

"Peek-a-boo! Ed find youuuuuu!" Comes the triumphant chant from the red-headed girl. The three join around their youngest crew member.

"Aliases: Santa Claus? Old Saint Nick? What kind of names are those?" Faye reads out, incredulous, her eyes skimming over the information.

"Does it say anywhere where his last sightings were, Ed?" Jet asks, his metallic hand rested upon her slender shoulders and he shoved his face closer, the light reflecting off the piece of metal that curled beneath his one eye.

"Edda-find! Edda-find!" Is all she says, bobbing and swaying where she sits. A picture of the Universe appears upon the screen, and it begins to flash. A familiar solar system appears, and then one especially large gaseous planet is placed upon the screen.

Spike merely watches silently, that thoughtful, perplexed expression still upon his face.

"Callisto? That's a pretty frozen, quiet planet." Faye suddenly interjects as the 'last know sighting' is brought up. "I....don't think he'll be there."

"But it's a lead. We'll have to follow up on it." Jet informs her sternly, as he stands up. He rolls his shoulders and stretches.

"Well count me out of it then!" She shrills at him, standing up herself. Her hands come to rest upon her hips, and she thrusts her face towards Jet, her yellow clothes clinging to her lithe, curvaceous frame.

"You don't do work and you don't get any money!" Jet booms back, his blue eyes glittering in a challenge that Faye's green eyes can't help but see.

She pivots upon her heel, flipping back her purple hair, and she storms out of the lounge, heading for her room, leaving Spike to slowly turn around and look at Jet, perplexed.

"So we're going to Callisto?" Spike asks casually, his hands moving to tuck casually into his pockets. He begins to walk towards the hatch that led to the front of the ship.

"Yep," Jet offers monosyllabically, leading the way.

"You do know that they farm reindeers there, right?"

"Yep."

"And there's a high crime population?"

"Yep."

"Just checking." And Spike splits ways with his partner, whistling idly as he goes, walking with that gangly grace of his.

Jet shook his head, and the Black Dog rubs a hand across the back of his neck, not understand what the reindeer comment from Spike had been about, and Faye's outburst.

It didn't change anything though; they were going to Callisto to chase this 'Kris Kringle'


	2. We Three Kings

Author's Note: I'm doing my best to capture their personalities, but I kinda feel like I'm failing. I know there were some mistakes in the last story, but I was just starting and just a bit rusty. I think I get progressively better as this goes on. If you like what you read, let me know. Oh and every chapter has a title based with a Christmas Carol/song. This one is 'We Three Kings', the first chapter was 'O Come, All Ye Faithful' and so on and so on. Cowboy Bebop was a series driven not only by the character's but by music and I'm trying to keep with that, however subtly.

  
  


Chapter 2 'We Three Kings'

  
  


The trio trooped into the tavern. They made an almost humourus group, garbed each to the nines.....in winter clothes. Jet was the most bundled up, his toque pulled low around his ears, to protect his balding head.

Faye slid into her booth and she let her eyes case around, bits of her purple hair exposed for all the see. She gave a slight sneeze, and then her lithe body convulsed with a sneeze.

"We know you don't like the cold Faye, you don't need to remind us all the time," Jet sighed as she sat down next to her. "My joints are killing me, but you don't see me complaining, do you?"

"Sounds like you are, old man," Spike offers in his deep sly voice, looking sidelong to his partner as he sat down next to him. Jet merely grumbles and all three loft their arms, hailing the bartender simultaneously.

Mutinous glares were spread between the three, all of them badly needing the alcohol to warm their half-numbed bodies.

But Faye had the upper hand, the bartender being male and she being one of the few females. Her free hand crept up her large grey coat and she deftly unzipped her jacket, her other hand, along with Spike's and Jet's still extended, desperate, for the bartenders notice.

And after serving an old regular at the end of the bar he sauntered towards the trio, casting his brown eyes across the strangers. They spelt of space and recycled air. Which meant bounty hunters.

"What can I get you?" he leans against the bar, casting his brown eyes upon the pretty thing across it.

"Uh well...." Jet looks around nervously, especially at Faye, who's jaw seemed to have become unhinged, and her eyes were staring at him widely.

'Well if it's mostly men, I guess you have to adjust,' she conciles herself softly, and slowly her jaw closes.

"A gin, I suppose." Jet conceeds eventually, and then, with a glance to his companions he offers a faint; "And some information too."

"We don't take too kindly to your kind here." The lean bartender warns Jet, as he pre-cleans the class before setting it upon the bar before the man. He begins to pour his drink, dropping in some ice.

"What kind is that?" Jet asks casually, and with a flick of his hand out of the bartender's sight he shoo's Spike and Faye.

"You know what I mean," he mutters softly, watching his partners seem to wander off. First the woman out the door, and after the green haired one wandered around, poking at the jukebox with old broken records, he departed.

"No, I don't," Spike offers lightly as he places the folded bill upon the table. He had smaller ones in his pocket, but he felt this larger one would entice a more favourable answer.

The 'tender picked up the bill and snapped it between his fingers, thin and bony, his thumb rubbing across the ink. He knew what he was doing, it was obvious, and he was doing it well.

"This planet's....popular....with criminals," the bartender starts, his eyes jerking about the bar, but the sole patron, his regular, was already asleep, his nose dipped inside his drink. "'Retired' criminals for the most part, who want to just lay low, live the easy life and not have to worry."

"So criminals retire by raising reindeer?"

"No, that's just one old guy that really does it. But it's a huge business, and a lot of people get employed."

"What's his name?"

"Old Man Christmas, is what we call him."

"Why do you call him that?" Jet was positively perplexed, his drink rest upon his lips but lowered, un-sipped.

The 'tender paused and a thoughtful expression flickered across his face, the skin made harsh across his cheeks from years of harsh winds.

"I....really don't know. Everyone's just always called him that. My parents did it, and I guess their parents did it too."

Jet merely waved his words away, and lifted a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

"Well we came looking for some old guy named Kris Kringle. Apparently he's supposed to have been seen here. Seems to like red and white," Jet trailed off as the 'tender merely shook his head. "Nothing?"

"No, it's not that. I just can't tell you," and the 'tender abruptly set Jet's change before him and turned away, walking to the old patron and jostling his shoulder.

Jet leaned his large body back, blowing air out from his lips and rubbing the back of his neck even more. Great, loyalty to a criminal.


	3. Deck The Halls

Chapter 3 ''Deck the Halls'

  
  


Really in a sense it was irony that Jet had gotten his drink and was most likely pumping the information visciously from the bartender. And she was shivering like mad and wandering out of the building.

The shivering was caused partially by cold air, and also by sheer dread. It wouldn't take long before the Red Tail was reported back to Damian, and he would know that she was here. She burrowed deeper into her coat and she blinked repeatedly, her eyelashes occasionally sticking together.

Hopefully this wouldn't take too long. She shivers, turning a corner and then stopping as a body walked towards her. The coat was different, but the walk was familiar.

"Faye..." came the voice, and she cursed. Twisting around with her catlike nimble grace she began to race away. The sound of cursing followed after her and a; "Wait! Stop! Faye!", but she didn't let those words, muffled, stop her, sway her.

As she ran, air racing in and out through her lips, flashes of memories wormed their way into her mind. Damian and she entwined in bed, Damian and she laughing uproariously over little things.

Damian looking at her in shock as she knocked him unconscious and stole his ship. The Red Tail.

"FAYE!" Came the loud call, and she turned, blindly, into a building. She stumbled over a board, and she tumbled further into the room. She rolled across the hard wooden floor, and she came to a stop.

"Who the fuck are you?" Comes a low voice, and she turns her eyes around the room, the green depths gazing up at all the people, now standing, looming over her.

"A tourist," she offers lamely, moving to climb to her feet. She's stopped by the sudden rush of excitement.

"She's a woman!"

"Shiiiiit man! And a good woman too! Not fat like the rest of the bitches here!"

"Ooooo dude! I'm tenting!"

They began to move over her, and she reacted quickly. Her gun was in her hand before the first hand could land upon her coat, and the butt lashed out, hitting the most lecherous looking face hard. His face contorted hilariously, and he tumbled back onto a few others.

She twisted to her feet, and she cocked the hammer back and pointed it at the head man's temple.

"There's more of us than there are of you here, sweetmeat," he leers at her, licking his fat lips.

"I don't care, I'll take them all out easily," she offers back coolly, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, hating that sick feeling that's creeping up her spine.

She felt her arm twisted up and behind her suddenly, and her gun began to fall down, spinning. It would go off on impact, most likely, but before it could land one of the men caught it, and leered at her.

She struggled against the large, meaty hands that held her, and she watched as the boss approached her.

If only she hadn't run away from Damian.

He tore off her hat, and threw it over his shoulder, and his greasy fingers slipped through her soft hair, and he moaned, crudely grinding himself against her belly.

"Is that all you have?" She insults him, spitting upon the cold ground. It froze seconds after hitting the wooden ground.

"Wha...?" He offers cluelessly, his beady eyes asking the question he was too stupid to even voice.

"That's the smallest cock I've ever felt! I've seen mice with bigger hard-on's!" She snaps at him, impatient now for real, with his inability to understand her insults.

"Bitch!" He grounds out, as his men guffaw about him. His large hand lashed out and struck her hard on the side of her pretty, pale face.

Her head jerked to the side, and a few drops of blood flew outwards, landing on someone's jacket. The skin where he had struck her was warm for a second, and then it numbed. She drew her tongue across her teeth, lapping up the rest of the blood.

"Your men even agree with me! They probably know first hand how little pleasure they get from your shaft!"

The blows began to fall harder, the laughs turning malicious and the jeers encouraging.

Good.....at least she wouldn't be conscious for the rape.

"Faye! Damnit Faye!" She heard the words before she realized that the blows were stopping, no longer was she being barraged with large fists, the strikes to her face and body lessened....although her coat was torn to shreds.

Through the legs she could see a familiar movement, she could hear familiar footsteps.

"She came to see us, buddy. I suggest ya back off."

"That lady's with me," came the familiar tenor, and she closed her eyes, groaning.

But for some reason she just couldn't wish for his death. That was why she'd never come back to this desolate planet that had for a while seemed like a haven, like Eden reborn; she knew one of them would die if she ever came back.

No one was paying her any attention, and she crept across the floor, searching for her gun, and eventually finding it, between some bowlegged man's legs.

She felt a heavy thud against the ground and her green eyes flickered up, and she watched as a body and then another landed on the floor.

She heard a muted roar coming from a throat and she closed her eyes at the primeval fury that laced that sound, ringing within the wooden building.

She clutched her gun, her lifeline, watching as Damian put to use his moves and abilities, honed to a level that these men could not even fathom.

As their numbers dwindled, they began to smarten up, to realize, and quickly they began to escape, leaving their companions behind.

She could hear him approaching, and quickly she hefted her gun up, blindly, her eyes not really looking. The metallic weapon trembled in her small hand, and she bit her lip.

"Don't make me....." she implored, and then, as he continued to approach she groaned loudly and her both trembles once before succumbing to the black pain that had been clawing at the corners of her mind, she was not even cognizant enough to feel arms scooping her up, or that she was being carried away.


	4. Reindeer Tapping

((Author's Note: I was VERY nervous with this chapter, as it's Spike's chapter. He is my favourite anime male in the world, and I didn't want to lose him with my humble writing. But I actually think it turned out pretty okay. Perhaps not as 'silly' as he sometimes can be, but then he's alone and he does tend to get serious when he's alone.))

  
  


Chapter 4 'Reindeer are Tapping'

  
  
  
  


He'd left the bar with no true purpose save one; to see the reindeer. He'd heard about them, the noble, placid creatures. They were from earth, he knew that, but he'd thought most of the wild animals had died on Earth when the Gate incident occurred.

But it seemed that here it was a thriving business, one of the only ways of survival here. With his rambling, lanky grace he moved through the streets, following the smell.

A scarf wrapped about his face, protecting it from the cold, and the majority of his ears, but he wore no toque. His navy-blue jacket was large and did much to hide his form.

His shoes crunched eerily against the snow covered ground, and he cast his dual-coloured eyes about. This was one of the few places pock-marked with craters, as one got farther from town small craters began to appear, and he peered at them with mild curiousity. Within those holes little snowmen had been build, and through flecks of white, continually falling snow he stared at them.

They were snowmen, he could tell, by the three different bumps that comprised the body, but no coal, no carrots and no sticks announced them as anything but three lumps of snow compacted together.

So busy was he, peering into those craters, that it wasn't until he nearly ran into the metallic fence that he realized how far out he had come.

A soft snort drew his attention and he twisted his head to come face to face with large, knowing eyes and a soft nuzzle.

He took a surprising step back, and he watched as the reindeer turned away from him and began to walk boredly away.

No no! This was the chance that he'd been waiting for. Excitedly he clambered at the fence, squeezing through two of the bars.

In his haste his grace failed him, and he landed onto his back, his jacket, thankfully, pillowing his landing.

He lay there, staring up at the sky, and listening to a distant ringing of bells and the tapping of reindeer feet against the cold, hard ground.

Lying there he fumbled into a jacket pocket and withdrew a cigarette and lighter. Straightening he flicked the light and could but stare in confusion as no flames flickered up from the lighter.

He'd forgotten how cold it was here, and now his lighter had stopped working because the liquid had frozen.

With a hint of frustration his teeth gnawed on the filter, and he climbed to his feet, and his hands curled with aggravation into the soft flesh of his palms.

His fingers curled into his fist and it wasn't when there was a loud CRACK that he recalled the reindeer.

What had that sound been? Curiousity drew him like a moth to a flame, and his dual coloured eyes focused on the distant outline of dark bodies, lit up with a gentle red colour from Jupiter above their heads.

He slowly ambled towards the animals that had grouped together, but the flash of red drew his attention and made him pause.

"It's alright; your lighter fluid's frozen, isn't it?" Came a deep laugh, and Spike couldn't help but freeze in shock.

"How'd you know?"

"I heard you flicking the lighter and then noticed your cigarette wasn't lit." Came the bland answer. Spike almost wanted to hit his head off of something.

"You wouldn't happen to have...." He began, but then was suddenly cut off by a flare of light that hurt his eyes, but he quickly ducked down, sticking the tip of his cigarette into the flame and lighting it.

"What are you doing out here? You're trespassing," the voice came from the lips that were only placeable from the position of the cigarette.

"I wanted to see them. I've never seen Reindeer before."

"Ah, well not too many people come here for tourist reasons," the man chuckled low and deep, and Spike's eyes were drawn to his shadowed belly, large, rotund, and jiggling gently as he laughed.

"Well I just remember this old story about an old man who used to ride in a sleigh pulled by reindeer....that's all that I remember," Spike's eyes wandered out across the sea of reindeer, idly grazing on the hay that had been placed for them to feast upon.

"That is an old story. I wouldn't expect and young man like you to know it."

"I know a lot of weird things. It's what I get for listening."

"Well it's always a special talent, one that's slowly being lost."

"I know, I work with people who seem to have a problem of listening." Spike took a deep drag of his cigarette and cast his eyes at looming Jupiter, the snow coming and buffeting his face gently.

"Why's it always snowing here?" He asked eventually, after the silence had passed on for a little while longer.

"Magic, supposedly." Came the response.

"I doubt that."

"The winds on the other side of Callisto are so strong that they chip away at the ice. It comes over this way and, getting close to Jupiter, it melts slightly and comes back down as snowflakes." The old man offers with a tired sigh, as if disappointed.

"Doesn't the ice ever run out on the other side?"

"No, because the snow never stays for long. At most we just have a foot or two. The rest gets down, and is too dry to stay and gets blown to the other side. And it starts all over again." Spike watched the old man take a deep drag of his cigarette, the red glow lighting up, slightly, his white beard.

Spike finished the last bit of his cigarette, but not wanting to harm the reindeer, he gently sucked the butt into his mouth and swallowed it, casting his eyes around him, feeling at peace, here with the reindeer.

"I suppose you must be off now, Spike." Came his companions old, tired voice, and he startled.

"How did you....." Spike began, but was cut off by the beeping of his pager. He dug in his pocket, and pressing down on a button, Jet's voice burst out.

"Get back here Spike. It's a dead end, and I can't find Faye. I did see a bunch of beat up looking guys though. Let's find Faye and get out of this frozen dump."

"Alright, I'm coming." Spike turned around, but the old man had left, his reindeer following after him. He watched the rotund body waddle off, his gait slow and weary, his shoulders stooped.

'Maybe not such a dead end,' he mused to himself, and he dug his hands into his pockets, whistling an old melody as he walked away, his crunching feet slowly over-shadowing the tapping of the reindeers hooves.


End file.
